Cheddar
“Will you tell me already, the tension is becoming to much to bear.”
“Just drink your coffee I don’t want to talk about it right now”
“Are you kidding me? This is huge, astronomically huge news involving a great deal of money.”
“How do you know it’s a great deal of money? It could very well be a tiny speck of money for all you know.”
“Listen here Libby, I make nine dollars an hour, any lump sum of money in which we’ve acquired for doing virtually nothing is a great deal to me.”
“We’ve acquired? Last time I checked I was the one who got in the terrible car accident. I was the one who had to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. What took you so long to get to the hospital anyways?”
“It didn’t take me that long, you probably had a distorted understanding of time after being the victim of a terrible drunken driving accident. Granted the car stereo was acting up again, kept spitting my burnt CD’s back at me, you know how I cant drive without music.
“Your car stereo?”
“Where is that fucking waitress, I swear they avoid you just so you don’t ask for your free refill.”
“I was in the fucking hospital and your fiddling with your stereo?”
“You know I can’t drive without music, will you just tell me how much you got for your settlement so we can end this.”
“I don’t think you deserve to know.”
“Were not leaving this diner until you tell me.”
“Thats fine with me, I could live happy here for some time with my new found wealth.”
“…….”
“……..”
“So it is a lot of money then?”
“I need to sleep at your place tonight, Kristen’s boyfriend is coming over and you know how they get.”
“I know how he gets, she is merely a product of his actions, very disturbing. In any event I may not even be sleeping at my place tonight. I’m going to play pool with rick and maybe hit a few more bars while I’m in town.”
“What does that have to do with where you sleep?”
“Well I wouldn’t want to end up drunkenly ramming my car into a beautiful young lady tonight would I? Excuse me miss could i have a refill on my coffee? Please and thank you? If it’s not too much trouble? I know it’s a real mad house in here and you’ve probably got magazines to read.”
“That was rude.”
“I’ve been waiting here for some time, you know I really love you to death and I wish we could just be honest and not have secrets from each other, so why don’t you just take this pen, here’s a napkin, and write down the amount and we’ll put this whole thing behind us.”
“Fine.”
“Thank you, see its not that hard, you’re doing great, were gonna get through this together”
“Here.”
“Hmmmm, thats funny, last time I checked the words fuck you were not a denomination of American currency.”
“I guess that is kind of funny.”
“Why must we do this Libby, are you punishing me for the whole stereo incident? Oh thank you kindly miss it smells simply divine.”
“Cream or sugar?”
“Oh no its quite palatable how it is I wouldn’t dream of adding a condiment to your delightful….. what kind of coffee do you guys use at this fine establishment anyways?”
“I’m a girl, one girl, not several men. I don’t know what kind of coffee we use, it comes in a giant silver bag with no writing on it.”
“HAHA! Well then, fair, fair enough, and thank you so much again for this simply marvelous cup of silver bag coffee.”
“I think she liked you. Maybe you should start dating her instead of me.”
“She’s not getting a tip.